True Happiness

True happiness is an enduring flowering plant that draws its life and beauty and fragrance not from the shifting ground of circumstances but from being solidly deeply rooted in a right relationship with God Himself.  True happiness will sustain you with peace quietness, and confidence all the years of your life.  NO MATTER YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. 

Thanks to my grandmother’s sweet journal she gave me last year, I stumbled across this definition today.  It really is so crazy that I have read through every page of this book, but on days where I am struggling I will pick up her book and open to a page that I could have sworn was not in here, one that I never remember reading.  But here it is and it has God’s never ending truth all over it and it is always exactly what I needed to hear.  It opens my eyes to even more hope that I have in my Lord, Jesus Christ. 

Today I was struggling with happiness.  I know that God is my only satisfaction and I know that this world is not what I want to live for.  I know that I do not need to be married to be happy or even dating someone to be happy.  But sometimes despite knowing all of this I still feel like my life would be better if there was a man in it (my dream man, the one I have been praying for ever since I was a little girl) sharing my days with.  Sharing my hopes, dreams, fears, love, horrible cooking skills, delicious baking talents, writings, devotionals, church, passions, ministries, days, and nights with.  I want a relationship so badly but why?  I have God to share all of that with.  He is the one that gave me the opportunity to even be able to have all of that.  It should be simple, I should be completely happy always with the One and only being that is the creater of happiness.  The always is where I struggle.  I have days where I look forward to spending the day with my beautiful maker, loving Him, praising Him, thanking Him for the miracle He has done in my life.  But then I have days where I choose to be distant from Him.  I choose to be upset that I have so much in my life except a godly man to share it all with.  I actually get upset with God because I just do not understand what I am supposed to be doing.  Am I single because I made mistakes in the past?  Am I single because that is what God created me to be?  Am I single because I shut guys off because I am a little terrified of them?  I hate these days when I have these feelings.  BUT I will not be having those days any longer because that definition of happiness has opened my eyes to something.

Something HUGE.  Something life changing.  I am single because God wants to use this time to draw me closer to Him.  I know what I am in Christ, and I will not settle for anything less.  Love takes time, I must be patient.  I need to take the time to grow in my relationship with God before I can ever even think about a relationship with a man.  God loves me so I do not need to worry about the love of any other man, God has it all figured out for me, and I thank Him for that.  God loves me and I need to start embracing His love and know that he promises the desires of my heart.  I need to make sure that my desires are God’s desires for my life.  Doubting God’s goodness is unacceptable and unnecessary.  My life is happy because of God and He can do whatever he would like to in my life and I will still be happy.  My heart is trusted completely to God. 

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