I read something really disturbing today. There is actually a book out there that highlights and actually celebrates getting divorced in your twenties. My heart actually became a little bit angry when I read that, thinking, why would anyone want to celebrate ruining something that the Lord can bless. Then I thought about how God must feel when he sees books like that. His beautiful creation of a man and a woman becoming one in His presence, is being crushed, destroyed, and made a mockery of. I can only imagine how he feels about this fallen world. His heart is breaking for sure. This book was mentioned in an article that brought up the concern for marrying too young. People choose to get married at a young age and as a result are dealing with divorce before the age of 30. I personally think the issue of these divorces has nothing to do with age, I think it has everything to do with why they chose to get married in the first place.
In my own life I have learned that if you become distracted by an idea of who you want to spend the rest of your life with instead of enjoying spending your days with Jesus and waiting patiently and praying continually for the special someone God has planned for you, you set yourself up for divorce. It is not that people are marrying too young, it is that people are marrying blindly. It is absolute truth that no mistake can keep us from receiving God’s love for us. No matter who we decide to marry if it be the person that God chose for us or not, there is no doubt that he can bless and make good of the marriage that was not formed by God. God uses everything for good and His glory. The day you say I do, you begin a journey, together, with God himself. When you cut God out of that relationship or depend on your significant other to be what God is, your marriage will fail. Understanding that God is the most important being in your life helps you keep in perspective who your loved one is to you in your life. Your husband or wife will disappoint you, you will have a hard marriage, it will not be easy sometimes, you might go days where you really do not like the person you marry. Does this mean that you should take the easy way out, give up. and get divorced? Absolutely not! I know that there are certain circumstances where you would be disobedient to the Lord if you did not get divorced, but there are way more circumstances where it is complete disobedience to get a divorce. Our society today says your happiness is the most important thing, if your spouse does not make you happy, find a new one that will. Chances are, you will not be able to find one that does. Until you realize that God is the only true happiness in your life and your only satisfaction in life, you will not be content in any marriage.
How do we do it then? How do we make sure we are not divorced? There is no answer, this life is full of uncertainties. Even if you are divorced to an earthly person, you are still with God. He never leaves us or forsakes us. If you are married, give your relationship to God, let Him bless it and bring happiness and love into your relationship. If you are single, be patient, do not settle and do not be convinced that the man you want is better than the man God wants for you or God himself. If you are divorced, hold onto God’s hand, and let Him heal you and restore your life. I am not writing this to bash divorce. God loves you no matter what, and divorce is sometimes necessary. Do not let yourselves be burdened with divorce, instead move on in your life following God into a life filled with happiness, joy, peace, comfort, and love. Maybe then, he will give you someone to grow closer to Him with. I think that is what relationships are all about. Growing to a deeper, stronger relationship with God along side of someone who will be with you in your journey, supporting you, caring for you, and loving you enough to make God first.
You know what question I hate the most on applications for just about anything these days…What is your marital status? I want to write a paragraph next to that question instead of just a single word (no pun intended there). For me, I technically would be single, but really I am not, Jesus is my date. I am trusting my heart with God. He has my heart and when the man He has hand-picked for me comes along, he will hand it over, trusting it with this godly man. How about the woman who has to write divorced. The woman who had to deal with a husband who gave up on her…tried to find his happiness somewhere else. That woman has to write down one word divorced, but doesn’t she also want to write a paragraph. “I am divorced to a selfish man, but I am in love with my Savior, Jesus Christ. He holds my heart, my ex husband may have given up on me, but my God never will. He never leaves my side, he dries all of my tears and understands how painful it was to write the word divorced on this paper. God resortes me more and more every day. I spend my days with Him and He is enough for me.”
I remember this one event I went to that I did not have a date for. I did not need a date, but I felt incomplete and undesirable without one. I actually cried before this event. I was sick to my stomach about the thought of walking into a room full of couples, completely by myself. I prayed about this because deep down inside I knew these thoughts were completely ridiculous! Then all of a sudden, I realized, Jesus is my date! Not only does He hold my right hand, but I follow Him into every room I enter. My whole mood instantly changed, I realized I had the best date of all, Jesus. I felt special all of a sudden, like the princess I am, because my father is a Glorious King. I was no longer scared. I was no longer sick about walking into a room full of couples. I was not single, I had a date! Towards the end of the evening, everyone was standing. All of the couples were coupled up, holding hands, arms wrapped around each other. I thought to God, awe, I would love to have a date holding me right now. INSTANTLY I felt Jesus holding me. I cried a little bit. This time not because I felt incomplete, but because I felt the love of my Savior wrapped around me. It was then I realized, I never need a man to make me feel the way I have always dreamt a man would make me feel. No man’s hands will ever be able to replace Jesus’ hands in my life. Is that what we are looking for when we get married? Is that what we are waiting for in a man? Is Jesus just holding you through until you meet a man? For me, that is not the case. I am not looking for a replacement. I am not looking at all. I know the desires of my heart, but even more so, God knows the desires of my heart. He has the most beautiful, perfect plan for my life. I trust that there will be a day, when my story meshes with the man God has hand-picked for me. He will not replace Jesus in my life, he will just add more beauty to my life. He will be second in my life, I will love him, but I will love God even more for bringing him into my life. He will never have to try to be as comforting and loving as God is in my life. He will be just him, and I will be just me. We will make God number one, and live our lives completely surrendered to God’s plan and will for our lives. We will do great things all in the name of Jesus. We will worship, praise, love, honor, glorify, and spread Jesus to the ends of the Earth. I will have Jesus holding my right hand, and this man holding my left, and together we will be an example of true love that comes only from Jesus Christ!