Grateful Heart

There are many different pieces to my heart. But, one piece that covers all is thankfulness. Especially in the last year, I have been learning how to be thankful no matter what happens in life. It may sound crazy to say, but all the awful things that have happened to me, I am actually thankful for. Through those experiences God has really showed himself to me through my pain. Our relationship was made new again. He gave me new life again! How can I not be thankful to God for those things?? So many times I get wrapped up in the little things. I complain about the littlest thing that in reality just does not matter. I let it distract me from the thankful heart I should have towards the Lord for letting me be in any circumstance at all! No matter what the outcome will be for anything going on in my life, I know I have the Lord by my side, going through every moment with me. So therefore, I will give thanks to him for being with me, and helping me get through anything! There are so many things I am thankful for. One that I take for granted though is the fact that God gives us breath each morning to live the day! I forget that HE is the reason I am here and living my life. Not only did God give us life BUT He gave us life abundantly! We are not in Heaven yet, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have abundant life here on Earth the way God intended it to be. He wants us to live out each day FOR HIM ALONE This life is not about us, it’s about God shining through us. All I can do is keep believing in keep loving keep thanking and keep sharing God. I have to keep the God perspective of this life and lose my ideas for this life. Thank you Jesus for the life you give each of us. Let our lives be a testimony of the love you have for us!

Giving away the past

How tight are you holding onto your past? Maybe it is your whole past you are holding onto with a firm grip watching closely to never let it slip. Maybe you are just holding onto bits and pieces of your past. The bits and pieces that are TOO painful, TOO hurtful, TOO shameful, TOO awful to think about. You try to hide those pieces, but they always come through sooner or later. You do really well concealing every piece of your past with your supersize glue gun in the form of alcohol, sex, drugs, becoming a workaholic, you think the fix is in any of THAT. No drink will let you taste your past no more, no man or woman will fix your past, no drug will dull the pain of your past, no job will distract you enough from your past. There is only one thing you can let into your life to not only fix you but restore you into the person you were meant to be, and that would be God HIMSELF.

One day I was struggling. I was in therapy at this time in my life. The Lord was healing all of my hurts and pains from my tormenting past. I decided to finally let God into my life to work and to restore. I was doing so well. Wouldn’t you know all of a sudden something happened. I started to realize that God truly wanted everything. He did not want just what I was willing to give Him. He was not going to give up until I gave in and grabbed onto His strength and courage to get everything out that I had been holding onto for such a long time. I kept hearing God tell me, It is time Diane, it is time. Well, this day, October 11, 2011 it was finally time.

I was working through a study by Kyle Idleman, Not a Fan. Yes it changed my life, yes it was the absolute best! This week it was talking about picturing yourself following Jesus into every room you walk into. That really got my attention, too often I forget God is literally always with me. On this day in October, my day of complete freedom, I followed Jesus into therapy, holding His hand. I knew what I had to do, I asked the Lord to prepare my heart. I asked Him to bring to light everything that I was still struggling with. I asked Him to help me get it all out, all of the shame, pain, fear, tears, and heartache, take it all away!

What better way to get it all out than to write it all down? Sounds perfect to me! That is just what I did. I wrote down every fear, pain, shame, and worry that God brought to my attention. Anything that was a struggle was put into words and written on my pretty pink paper in my journal. Walking into therapy I had Jesus’ hand in my right hand, and my journal in my left hand.

My therapist is an angel. She drew God’s hands on a piece of paper. She leaned the paper against the wall. We knelt at His hands. I read aloud every word on every page of my journal. I let every tear fall on those pages, and I ripped each page out and placed it in front of God’s hands. The last page was placed, my eyes were closed, as I was praying aloud to God. I wanted to see God so I opened my eyes. The instant I opened my eyes, God’s hands fell over all of my pages of shame, pain, hurt, and struggles. My heart INSTANTLY smiled.

That was the most precious sign God has ever given me of His love for me. That was just what I needed to know, God has taken my past shame and hurt, and He has it all. I gave it all to the best hands imaginable. Something that was such a heavy burden in my life, is such a light load for Jesus. This is what His grace is all about.

I no longer have to hide my past or try to fix it myself. I have given it all to the Lord.

I think the best part of this day is what was left in my journal afterwards…ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

I got a fresh, clean, new start at life in Christ. The old is gone. He is making me new, every day. Every moment is a second chance we receive from God to feel His love for us.

What do you feel today? Do you feel God’s love or do you feel the shame, pain, hurt, and brokenness from the pieces of your past? Don’t you know there is no such thing as too much hurt with God, just like there is no such thing as too much love with God. You take what you think is too bad, too much, too painful, and you give it to God. You will be overwhelmed with the fact that in return you will receive love, so much love that you would think it is too much, but there is no such thing as too much love from God. His love is never-ending, His love is unconditional, his love is always there; past, present, and future. God will show you His love in unmeasurable ways!

Thank you Jesus for the miraculous transformation you have brought to my life. It is my prayer that everyone who reads this is filled with your love today and every day, let them feel it!

You Lose

Here is another devotional for Groundwire, that I simply love, hope you do too.

One thing I have learned about this life is that people really want to win; no one wants to be the loser.  Think about it, when watching your favorite sports team you get so caught up in the excitement of a win!  Maybe you do play sports or are involved in a competitive activity in which you constantly feel the pressure to win.  Winning in our society is very important.  Everyone wants to be number one.  People want to win fame, fortune, beauty, love, and happiness.  I often wonder why winning is so important in this life.

I challenge you to think about this, the greatest satisfaction in life is losing yourself to let God win your life to glorify Him and bless others.  I truly believe that statement, I wrote it down several months ago as I was spending some one on one time with God.  He spoke to my heart with that statement.  I believe losing is one of the worst feelings, but is one of the best things that can happen to us in order to strengthen and grow in our relationship with Christ.

I have lost a lot of things in this life.  I have lost people who I thought were my best friends.  I have lost loved ones who have passed away.  I have lost my first love who I believed to be my only love.  Of all of the things I have lost nothing caused more pain than when I thought I lost God in my life forever.  I felt dead in a way, I felt alone, and I felt like a loser.  One of my favorite parts of the Bible is the following words found in Jeremiah 29:14 “I will be found by you,” declares the Lord.  Truth be told, we can never lose God.  God never leaves us, even in the storms of life.  Even when we disobey God, He is still with us.  When we try to turn away from the Lord, even then, He will not leave us, He will wait patiently for us to come back to Him.  It is in our struggles of disobedience when we finally decide to choose Jesus over everything else, and that is when we truly find Him in our lives. 

In order to win God, you must lose everything in this world that is hindering your relationship with God.  You must lose control of circumstances in your life that cause you to stress.  You must lose the ideas you have for your life, and win God’s plans for your life.   The beauty of losing our lives to God is that when we do that, we are not losers at all!  We are winning the most beautiful gift of all time, the love, mercy, and grace of Jesus Christ.