One feeling that really does not settle well with me is the feeling that someone I care about, love, know, or trust, is talking badly about me behind my back. There have been many times that someone is purposely trying to hurt me, break me, and get enjoyment out of watching me cry over careless words that they say without a clear thought put behind them. Please do not feel sorry for me. Feel absolutely no pity for me. Because, I have spoken those same careless words about many dear loved ones, friends, or even strangers. My intentions were never to hurt them, but I often wonder what are my intentions when I foolishly choose to speak words about another person that are definitely not lifting them up, honoring them, or pleasing to God’s precious ears.
I am constantly praying the prayer, “Show me what is keeping me from you, show me the impurities of my heart Lord. Help me please to get rid of them.” This is a prayer I encourage all of you to pray daily. You may not like what you see afterwards, but I promise you if you let God into help you with your “ugliness” you will LOVE what you both see after it is completely gone: a pure heart of God, graciously serving and loving Him and others. One of the ugliest things about me that the Lord has shown me, is that I talk about people. It is always a result of simply not thinking before I speak. It is never mean, horrible things I talk about it is just simply things I should not be saying. You may be thinking oh my goodness, this Diane is awful. Who does she think she is talking about others? Well, you would not be out of line thinking those things about me. I willingly admit that I am not perfect but God is perfect. I willingly admit that I do things that are selfish and dishonoring to the Lord, but the Lord forgives me and loves me even so. It is in times like this when I choose to see the ugly in my life, and replace it with God’s beauty. We all have ugly, mine right now is gossip, a month from now it may be something else, no matter what our ugly may be (pride, lust, addictions, money, divorce, abuse, the list goes on and on) it is never ugly enough to destroy us. Our ugly is powerless over our lives. We are the ones that give it power to rule over our life daily. We are the same ones that must choose to give the power to God, so that he can transform our ugly into HIS beauty.
This is what I am doing right now. James talks so much about taming your tongue. I am choosing to spend time studying out this book of the Bible. There are one week devotionals out there about gossip, I am choosing to do one. There are many prayers I have sent to God, asking Him to help me to really watch what I say before I say it. I am noticing His aid in many areas of my life. There are bits and pieces of truth about gossip that the Lord is teaching me through His word, and my beautiful sister. What are you choosing to do in order to give up control, and give all power to God over the ugly in your life?
Today something my sister said really stuck in my head. “When you gossip, what you tell someone is the result of someone else’s gossip. Everything comes full circle.” How true is that statement??!! Now, I do not think I go around begging to hear gossip so that I can run off to that person or someone else and share all the juicy details. I do not think that I use that persons poor decisions to make it ok that I am making the same poor decisions. BUT I DO KNOW THAT I HAVE THE CHOICE TO KEEP MYSELF OUT OF EVERY CONVERSATION THAT IS NOT PLEASING, AND GLORIFYING TO THE LORD. I DO KNOW THAT WHEN I AM TALKING WITH PEOPLE I CAN LET MY WORDS COME FROM THE GOD I GIVE POWER OVER MY LIFE TO AND NOT SPEAK THE WORDS I LET HAVE POWER OVER MY LIFE.
If you too struggle with gossip from time to time, know we are in this together. The more honest you are about your ugly, the faster you get rid of it, the faster you let God transform you into SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL!