Who’s Hands?

What are you carrying around on any given day?  I am not so much talking about coffee cups or I phones or books or hands of little ones.  I am talking burdens that lay heavy on your heart; emotional, personal, spiritual, physical BAGGAGE.  The kind of stuff that we were never intended to carry around with us.  How about the scars of past experiences?  Maybe it is the fear of the unknowns that you grip tightly each morning.  Perhaps the worst for you is the torture of waiting for God to show up in your life.  For me it is the doubt that I am really new in Christ that I am really His and He is really mine. 

Why do we walk around with our hands full?  Why do we deal with the pain, shame, depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, and hurt that all of these things tend to leave our hearts feeling?  Why do we so easily forget about what Jesus’ hands did for us on that brutal cross, that dreary day?  Our mighty God in Heaven sent his perfect Son, Jesus to die on a cross, not for anything that he ever did or could ever do, but for all of the things that we do every day.  When Jesus sacrificed His life for ours, so that we may spend eternity in Heaven with our Savior and Lover of our souls; He took all of the burdens that weigh so heavy in our hearts and hands with Him on the cross.  Our troubles and sins fit perfectly into His wounded hands.  What are our hands that we think we can take upon our own struggles and still live out the life God has for us?  We did nothing.  Jesus did it all.  His hands have the scars to prove it. 

John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”.  The thief is Satan.  He tries to rid us of our life with Christ.  He tries every day to fill our hands with the filth this world has truly become.  Jesus has come into this world and into our hearts so that we may live out the life we are intended to live.  Not just any life, but abundant life!  Nowhere in this abundant life will you find full hands.  When you are living out the abundant life that God has planned perfectly just for you, there will be nothing left in your hands, except for the healing hand of Jesus.  We see this is Psalm 73:23 “Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand”. 

The next time you notice your hands filled up with the things of Satan, remember who is truly holing your hand.  Empty your hands in his.  Let his hand fill you with the joy, peace, love, grace, and mercy that His abundant life is overflowing with!


My Heart’s Song

Another Sleepless night alone, crazy from this mess we’re in

I read your texts to her on your phone

Watched you shave and dress and get out my car

Drove the city, checked my phone

Knowing you aint missing me

Imagination running hot, and you’re right where you wanna be

Do you think I’m made of stone?

Do you think it doesn’t hurt when you ignore me?

Leaving me to think the worst

And when you’re out there in her arms, then call me to be in mine

Do you think it’s all a game?

To play with my emotions all the time

Cant you see my heart is broke?

I’m just barely gettin round

Don’t know how I’m getting by

All your friends I see passing by

They know me, but the “me” you told them

They all know I’m acting stupid

And cant believe I keep going back to you

God I hate to feel so dumb

But I just cant turn loose of you

Do you think I’m made of stone?

Don’t you know my pain is real?

Its the worst I’ve ever known and it lasts even with you

What am I supposed to do when you cheat and drink your life away?

I shouldn’t go back to you I know

Wish I could ignore your call like you ignore mine

Do you think I’m made of stone?

Oh it cuts me like a knife

You have stripped me of my innocence

What am I supposed to do but wait for your call?

Do you think its just a game?

To play with my emotions like you do

Another sleepless night alone

I guess you really never cared

I wrote these words down after listening to a Dolly Parton song just four years ago.  These words truly were the song of my heart.  I was trapped in an abusive relationship and this is how I spent my days feeling.  The pain I felt behind each of these words was killing me.  Most days were worse. I will never forget the glorious day, Jesus touched my heart with a brand new song.  A song that knew no ending, one that comforted me, gave me peace, showered me with love, and saved my life!  The song God continues to sing for me every day completely covers any song I ever wrote on my own.  I do not feel alone anymore.  I know God’s embrace.  I know the song of my heart; it is GOD ALONE.  Thank you Jesus for replacing all of the words in the heartbreaking song, with words that mend my heart and bring me closer to you every day.  I love you!

Please understand that there are women every day that suffer and some even die from being stuck in abusive relationships just like I was.  I have found and believed the saving power of Jesus Christ because of such an abusive relationship.  Maybe you know someone in an abusive relationship- help, encourage, and support them in finding God’s love.  Maybe you are in an abusive relationship-please contact me for help, support, encouragement, and love.  No one can save anyone from abuse but God himself.   

Please say a prayer right now for everyone who is singing the song above.  Please pray that they will come to know God, trust HIM to free them from abuse and find the new song HE has for them:)  Prayer works, I know this firsthand.  Ask God to open your eyes to the hurting around you.  It is my desire to share God’s song of my heart with everyone.  Let that be your desire too.   

Psalm 40:2-3. 


To be continued…

2012 brought a new chapter to my life. One in which I am so beyond thankful for what the Lord has brought me through from years past. So beyond blessed to be alive, safe, loved and joyful in everything the Lord has done to get my attention and save me from a life of misery. This new chapter started off with the best of intentions. Because of the abundant, overwhelmingly so, thankfulness I have overflowing in my heart I turned that thankfulness into action. There are so many things laying heavy on my heart stemming from this thankfulness. I wanted to do them all! Things I once believed I could never do…now I just simply had to do. In a way doing these things was my way of saying…THANK YOU JESUS. But in another way, these things were single handily starting to ruin my life. I was quite shocked by this. I’m doing all of these wonderful things for you, why am I struggling so much? Why am I feeling that I need to be doing more? Why am I so unsure of where you want me to go? There is no possible way to repay the Lord for the miracle he has brought to my life. There is nothing I can do enough of to even begin to show the thankfulness I have to God alone. He didn’t save me from devastation so that I may bring more devastation upon myself, NO! He saved me so that GOD ALONE can be praised, glorified, and honored through me. It’s not about what I do, it’s about what HE does through me. I was so excited for this chapter, it brings page after page that I never imagined I would ever see!! But by me taking control of every aspect of this chapter of my life, it has led me to one thing: being unable to filter what the Lord has laid on my heart from what I want to be on my heart. I need to stop writing this chapter and let God start writing. God has such a perfect plan for me. I am definitely certain that I am very uncertain of what that plan is, however I trust the Lord writing it for me is by far way better than me trying to take the pen out of his hand and writing it myself. Letting God finish this chapter can only assure me of one thing: His blessings will be greater than my expectations.

This is the last thing I write I trust the pen in your hand, Lord…To be continued…


My brother does not believe in God nor does he believe in what the Bible says. He believes the Bible is made up. I believe in God. I believe the Bible is GOD’S living word, how God communicates with us. To me the Bible is the greatest truth.

I try not to discuss my faith too often with my brother. However from time to time I will bring it up. I know all I can do is pray for my brother. I know all I can do is love my brother I know my brother will find God one day.

I usually hate when we talk about God. I have my beliefs he has his. I never feel confident enough to defend what he is saying about my “religion”. For instance in our last conversation he asked me, If I eat pig. I said yes I do. He came back with then you are sinning the Bible says not to eat meat. I thought you believed everything the Bible said. And with that I was speechless. I prayed to God helping me to find the answer to this topic. I grew up eating pig and I know a lot of Christians who eat pig. I was confused.  Here is the thing, my brother knows the Bible, probably better than I do. But, he is missing something. Just like I was missing something until the day God showed me why as a Christian I eat meat.

The Lord led me to a study called becoming a woman of grace. In this study it deeply talks about the law versus the new covenant. For the first couple days I was not really grasping this concept in my heart. I got it but not enough. I wanted to know more, learn more, understand more. I have learned the following: the law is impossible to obey perfectly. It is impossible to live out every single rule perfectly with no fault. The new covenant is our saving grace. God knew we could never ever get through this life to Him by way of obeying the law. When sin entered the world, it made it impossible for us to enter Heaven. The law is what we have to do in order to get to Heaven. God knows it is impossible. But our God makes the impossible possible. By extending His son as a sacrifice for our sins, he made a way for us to be with him in heaven. The new covenant is not about what we need to do, it’s all about what God has so graciously done for us. God accepts us as imperfect human beings. He chose to send his only son to die on a cross for nothing he did. It was for everything I (and you) did, do, and continue to do. He did this so that we may be saved from the law. I am saved from sin. I am saved from eating pig. I am able to live a life with God even now because my Jesus rose from the grave. He fulfilled the new covenant with the shedding of his blood and then raising from the grave. God lives in me and through me. 

So when I had this realization I got really excited because I was able to defend my GOD to my brother now.  I called him up and started sharing this with him.  It did not go as I planned.  I tried to tell him that I eat pig and he eats pig (not just the one that goes oink oink) but we eat pig when we choose to do something that sets us apart from God; not in a positive light but in a negative way.  You see part of the law was to not eat pig, but why?  The reason why there was this rule and many others was because God wanted His chosen people to be set apart from the rest of the world; a holy nation.  Living by these rules let people know that, hey I do not eat pig, I am God’s chosen people.  They stood out for being followers of God.  Today, we have the NEW covenant.  One in which God still wants us to be set apart, but not by not eating pig.  He wants HIS chosen people to be set apart IN HIM.  His people should be pouring out God’s grace, love, comfort, support, encouragement, strength, kindness, and humility to others.  We should be standing out in God’s love for what HE alone has so graciously done for us.  So when we do “eat pig” in the form of lying to others, gossiping about someone, having impure thoughts, watching something we know we should not be doing, hurting others, and basically anything else that is disobeying God; we are set apart from God, not for God.  Then, eating pig was disobedient, and today it still is.  The only difference is back then the pig went oink oink and today it comes in forms of anything that is being disobedient from the Lord. 

Why do I eat “pig”?  I eat pig because I am not perfect.  I make mistakes.  We live in a fallen world covered in LOTS of sin.  I desire so strongly to be set apart FOR God.  I want to be His chosen daughter who lives a life in which others can see, there is something different about her.  (Why is she not eating pig?)  I don’t want to eat pig.  I want my brother to see Christ through me.  I want to be able to keep learning more and more about God.  I want to get rid of all of the “pig” in my life. 

What pig are you eating?  What is setting you apart from God?  Desire to be set apart for God.  Stop eating that pig and start cleansing your mind, soul, and body with the precious blessing from God alone.