My Heart’s Song

Another Sleepless night alone, crazy from this mess we’re in

I read your texts to her on your phone

Watched you shave and dress and get out my car

Drove the city, checked my phone

Knowing you aint missing me

Imagination running hot, and you’re right where you wanna be

Do you think I’m made of stone?

Do you think it doesn’t hurt when you ignore me?

Leaving me to think the worst

And when you’re out there in her arms, then call me to be in mine

Do you think it’s all a game?

To play with my emotions all the time

Cant you see my heart is broke?

I’m just barely gettin round

Don’t know how I’m getting by

All your friends I see passing by

They know me, but the “me” you told them

They all know I’m acting stupid

And cant believe I keep going back to you

God I hate to feel so dumb

But I just cant turn loose of you

Do you think I’m made of stone?

Don’t you know my pain is real?

Its the worst I’ve ever known and it lasts even with you

What am I supposed to do when you cheat and drink your life away?

I shouldn’t go back to you I know

Wish I could ignore your call like you ignore mine

Do you think I’m made of stone?

Oh it cuts me like a knife

You have stripped me of my innocence

What am I supposed to do but wait for your call?

Do you think its just a game?

To play with my emotions like you do

Another sleepless night alone

I guess you really never cared

I wrote these words down after listening to a Dolly Parton song just four years ago.  These words truly were the song of my heart.  I was trapped in an abusive relationship and this is how I spent my days feeling.  The pain I felt behind each of these words was killing me.  Most days were worse. I will never forget the glorious day, Jesus touched my heart with a brand new song.  A song that knew no ending, one that comforted me, gave me peace, showered me with love, and saved my life!  The song God continues to sing for me every day completely covers any song I ever wrote on my own.  I do not feel alone anymore.  I know God’s embrace.  I know the song of my heart; it is GOD ALONE.  Thank you Jesus for replacing all of the words in the heartbreaking song, with words that mend my heart and bring me closer to you every day.  I love you!

Please understand that there are women every day that suffer and some even die from being stuck in abusive relationships just like I was.  I have found and believed the saving power of Jesus Christ because of such an abusive relationship.  Maybe you know someone in an abusive relationship- help, encourage, and support them in finding God’s love.  Maybe you are in an abusive relationship-please contact me for help, support, encouragement, and love.  No one can save anyone from abuse but God himself.   

Please say a prayer right now for everyone who is singing the song above.  Please pray that they will come to know God, trust HIM to free them from abuse and find the new song HE has for them:)  Prayer works, I know this firsthand.  Ask God to open your eyes to the hurting around you.  It is my desire to share God’s song of my heart with everyone.  Let that be your desire too.   

Psalm 40:2-3. 

 

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