Who is the Boogie Man Anyway??

Ephesians 6:12

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

This verse has really been proving itself true over and over again recently.  Last night there were knocks on my door in the late hour.  These knocks were harmless.  The man knocking was not going to harm me in any way.  I was safe the whole time with God by my side.

However, I spent the entire night and most of today completely messed up from those knocks.  Satan knew what he was doing and it wasn’t pretty.  Satan used those knocks to wreak havoc on my peaceful night with God.  Those knocks to me, were not just knocks.  They were all of my past fears and every single emotion that went along with each past fear rolled into one.  With each knock, the fear grew deeper and wider and pretty soon it consumed my entire being.  I was paralyzed by the fear.  I was shaking uncontrollably.  My mind was spinning with different scenarios of how my night was going to end.  If the man wasn’t going to kill me, the fear swelling up in my heart would have.

This morning, still emotional from last night, I prayed to God, and this is what I said,

Dear Lord, I know there is a purpose in what happened last night.  I am not sure what it is.  I am sorry that I got a little upset with you.  Please show me, guide me in your truth, teach me, for you are my God , my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.  Thank you for keeping me safe and bringing me your peace.

Less that 24 hours after the incident, and I believe God has opened my eyes to the lesson he wants me to learn.

I was focusing my frustrations towards the man knocking on my door, when in reality I should have been focusing my frustrations towards Satan.  God showed me HIS truth that our struggle is not against flesh and blood.  Our struggle is against Satan alone.  There is never a reason to hate people for the horrific things they do, even if that man would have broken in to my apartment, I would still be able to love him.  For I know that this man did nothing, the evil he has let dwell inside of him did something. 

Then, this thought took me back to my abuser from years ago.  It is ok to love Him.  For, he did not do anything to me, the evil he welcomed into his heart each morning was the cause of my hurt and pain.  My struggle is not against flesh and blood, it goes beyond that.

The man from last night, just wanted let into his dad’s apartment that he had been locked out of for 6 hours.  (I am the manager, with the key!)  Satan used this incident to try to paralyze me in fear and bring me away from God. 

Sorry Satan, my God is BIGGER and with Him I am victorious, I do not fall victim to you.  My God used this incident to remind me that our struggle is not against the knife that stabs an innocent man, the gun that shoots a police officer, the man’s words that cut deeper than a knife in his wife’s ear, the bomb that dismantles innocent lives, the boogie man that traumatizes sweet little one’s night’s sleep, or the knocks on a door that takes a mighty princess-warrior-in-training of the King off of the path He has for her, our struggle is against the rulers, the authorities, the powers of this dark world, and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  God used this moment to remind me why I can love those who have hurt innocent lives, because He loves them too.  Our world is being corrupted, but not by anything other than PURE EVIL.  It is time we stop blaming the boogie man, and put on God’s armor to be protected against the devil’s evil schemes.

 “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”  Mark 1:15

Let the vessels Satan uses to cause havoc on our peace with God, drive us to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ throughout the world.  For He is the only One who can save us.  The world needs to know the weapons they can posses from God to take down the boogie-men in their own life.  Because of my own boogie-man experience, I have been refreshed with a new Spirit from God to share His love, and dwell in His safety always.  Thank you Jesus:)



When You Don’t Know

I went to a concert tonight.  It was unlike any concert I have ever been to.  I did not understand the words, but they were singing praises to God.  I was able to understand the meaning behind each note without understanding what was being said.  These men sing songs about God in places where God is not welcome.  They bring Jesus’ love into different places through the songs they sing, and I think that is one of the coolest things!  One gentleman sang a song and this time it was in English so I did understand what was said.  These words stood out among the rest…

Clear path…..

I cannot quote the entire line the way he sang it because I do not remember it word for word, but what I do remember is the way God’s hand pressed on my heart the instant I heard those words.  Something along the lines of, if there would have been a clear path, not knowing what to do, but having a clear path to know what to do.

That seems to be the way I remember it.  As he sang those words, it took me back to about four years ago.

You can’t leave him.  Who will want you?  You are ruined without him.  There will never be anyone else to love you.  You can be happy with him.  He will change.  Everything will be ok.  These are the sentences I would repeat to myself over and over again until I convinced myself of the false truth behind each one. 

Every once and awhile a moment would come, one in which I thought of the impossible.  You can leave him.  You can be free from his control.  You can move on from this and never look back.  You can stop going back to the abuse.  You can change.  You will be ok.  Fear of the unknown left me paralyzed to turn my impossible into God’s possible.  If I only knew how to do the impossible, I would be set. 

There comes a time in one’s life when you have a moment of too much.  Mine was a moment of too much heart, spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical pain.  In that moment I could have either moved ahead or stayed stuck in my messy past.  I did not choose a way, God chose for me.  He took that pain filled moment and He did something immeasurably more than I could have ever thought, prayed, or imagined.  In this very moment I learned that I don’t need to know how to do the impossible.  All I need to know is God.

This was a scary thought for me.  Here I was a lost girl, one who had turned her back on God because He did not save her from that man.  I was positive that God did not love me anymore.  I believed there was nothing I could do to get Him back in my life.

I didn’t know how to start making God apart of my life again.

I didn’t know how to leave an abusive relationship.

I didn’t know how I was going to move on from the pain that relationship caused.

I didn’t know how I was going to get through one day without having a break down.

I didn’t know how I was going to live at home and feel safe.

I didn’t know how I was going to be free from the things that tried so hard to destroy me.

I didn’t know where to start.

For as many things as I did not know, I knew one thing for certain, that I needed God.  This is when I started to get to know Him.  I called out to God and He heard me, He rescued me.  All of the things that I did not know how to do, He did for me.

We will all have those moments in life where we find ourselves muttering those words, “I don’t know what to do”.  It is my prayer that every time you wonder what you are going to do, you turn to God in that moment and let Him do it for you.

He does the impossible and He knows exactly what to do.

Today, I know that God loves me.  I think the best part is that what I thought God saw me as four years ago was a lie.  He saw me as the beautiful princess He created me to be and He always will see me that way.  It is up to me now to make sure that is always what I am: His.