Deep Waters

Maybe I was inspired to write this today because I just want to spend every day of the summer in a swimming pool or better yet-the ocean. Maybe I write this because I am desiring to be submerged for Christ, but there is something holding me back.  Maybe this was written to help me figure it all out.  One thing I am certain of is that God has put these words on my heart for me to share with you, so read on.

Kiddie pools are great when you are a true kid and more than your feetsies get submerged under water. When you are older and you attempt to “enjoy” the kiddie pool, it is a whole different story. What is the point of getting just your feet wet? Yes, this simple act truly does cool you off, but what about the rest of your body that becomes jealous of your feet that they are wet and “it” isn’t.

You may be thinking this sounds crazy, but I promise there is a point to all this kiddie pool talk. The “big kid” pool is intended for us to dive into, submerging every part of our body into the water. Not a dry spot on us should be found when hanging out in a pool.

I think this is how life was intended for us too-to dive in head first, being completely submerged by all God has planned for us (not a single part of us found not being used by Him alone). After all in John 10:10 we find it very clearly stated that Jesus has come for us so that we can life, and not just any life, ABUNDANT LIFE. I choose to believe that far too many of us (myself included in this statement) spend way too much time in the kiddie pool of life. We get our feet in, but we are too scared, afraid, doubtful, nervous, intimidated, unsure, (insert other here) to get out of the kiddie pool, and dive in head first to the exciting waters God has prepared especially for us.

The kiddie pool is safe, after all I do not think any adult has ever been reported to drown in a kiddie pool? However, the deep waters, not so safe. In fact, diving in head first to water deeper than your head when your feet hit the bottom, is a pretty risky move. You risk never coming above water again. You risk injury (depending on how out of control your dive). You risk getting more than your feet wet.

Call me crazy, but my heart desires the kind of risk it takes to submerge in the deep waters God has prepared for me. If I was being brutally honest with myself, I would even go as far to say that I desire to let myself drown in deep waters and let God rise up in me.

Maybe this is the word I have been struggling with all along, RISK. Maybe I don’t want to risk laying down my life in the deep waters. Maybe I don’t want to risk letting my feet leave this Earth’s solid ground. I know where my feet belong though, on the solid path through the deep waters with Jesus Christ guiding me the entire time. Maybe, indeed this risk is what I was created for after all.


Keep Breaking My Heart?

When I think of broken hearts I think of love stories that have gone tragically wrong.  I think of relationships that have been destroyed.  I think of betrayal, hate, pain, a lot of tears, and a quart of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream.  Until today, I had never really thought about the broken hearts that lead to abundant life with Christ.  Those hearts are out there-they are pieces of God’s, and little did I know I have been praying for one since last summer.

Last summer I was in a small group and we were doing a study called, A Heart that Can Break, by Kelly Minter.  I was so thankful for this study.  This was a study written by a single woman!  All of the studies I had done previously were written by married women.  I have nothing against them or their studies except for when it came time to hear their personal experiences, I just could not relate with what they were saying.  I do not have a bun in the oven or a terrible two at home with a husband.  Kelly’s stories were different, I could actually relate with them.  If I could say something to Kelly it would be thank you for being single and sharing your stories, they have helped my heart oh so much!

Anyway, in the first chapter Kelly asked us to write a prayer asking God to break our hearts for what breaks His.  She warned us this was a scary prayer to pray because God will answer it, and it will change you.  I remember writing down my prayer so totally and completely from my heart to His.  He heard my prayer that night, and in that moment He started preparing me for my very own broken heart that would prove itself over and over again to lead to that abundant life with Christ that we all desire for.

I have been telling God for the past year that I want my heart to break for His, but I guess I never truly grasped what this meant.  Today while sitting in church with my gram, aunt, sister, and cutie niece, God spoke to me through the words of the pastor’s prayer.  God helped my heart so much to understand what it means to let God break it!  One part of his prayer said, we worship You with broken hearts.

The instant I heard “broken hearts” I thought of the painful experience of my heart being shattered by someone I loved and had thought loved me, and I remembered the healing that God did to not only heal my broken heart but restore my heart to brand new! 

I always thought of God to be in the healing hearts business, never the breaking hearts business.  Today I realized I always thought wrong.

I asked God in this moment to teach me what it means to worship God with a broken heart.  This is what He has shown me:

Hearts were never intended to be broken by others.  When our hearts break into pieces because of others actions, Satan truly tries to use those pieces to destroy our lives.  There is no doubt that God heals even our most shattered heart.  (Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.) 

When we have experienced the healing touch of God, it changes us.  We start to possess God’s desires, not our own.  We let our lives die, so Christ can live in us.  We start to see the world as God’s sees the world.  Genesis 6:6 shows us a glimpse of how God sees the world, “The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and His heart was filled with pain”.  Now this was before the rains came and washed all He had created besides Noah’s ark and all that were on it, including unfortunately stink bugs:( away.  Since the arks doors were opened and Noah’s family and the stink bugs repopulated the Earth, our world has only become more corrupt and more evil.  Truly think about how horrible God’s broken heart must feel now.

This evil that breaks His heart is causing painful broken hearts of innocent people all around the world.  I have seen the broken hearts of so many especially recently while in India, but I also see something else in the broken pieces of these hearts-Jesus. 

When we ask God to break our hearts for what breaks His, He truly gives us a piece of His broken heart.  We each receive a different piece.  The piece we receive goes hand in hand with the pieces our hearts once were. 

God has given me the piece of His broken heart that aches for innocent precious children of His who fall victim to such a heinous crime of human-trafficking.  These innocent lives did not choose to be abused, raped, beaten, tortured, and destroyed.  Even now as my fingers are moving across the key board little children are being exploited sexually.  They are living out a nightmare right now and will continue to until they find Jesus’ healing touch. 

The only way they can find God’s healing touch is by the people who rescue these precious lives and these would be the people who have received a similar part of God’s broken heart as mine.  These are the people who cannot stand for this injustice and use what God has done in their own heart, to help others find healing through Jesus Christ.

This is what abundant life looks like: laying down your own for Christ’s to be showcased through your hollow shell. 

If you have been healed by God, He is waiting to give you the broken piece of His heart that He has prepared just for you.  We all have a job to do in this abundant life with Christ.  When we worship God with broken hearts, we come together as the body of Christ, unified through Him to have His eyes to see the painful broken hearts around us and to help those same hearts find the healing they need in order to be broken by the One and Only who is perfectly intended to break us.  His breaks lead us to Heaven.

I pray that you ask God to break your heart.  It will not prove to be an easy process, but it will prove to keep you on the right path to finding and living out abundant life with Christ!

To think I was once pleading with someone to quit breaking my heart and now I am saying just the opposite, Father please keep breaking my heart!  Let this forever be the prayer of our broken hearts.